I prayed & I prayed  Oh what I would trade For blonde hair & blue eyes. My innocent self thought maybe just maybe I wouldn’t have to carry this burden inside The pain of dark skin and Distinct features Made me think I was the sin On my hands and my knees My ignorant faith Begged my Maker-pleeeeeaaasee take away my own hate   When I was 11 years old   I could not understand This Shame was given to me by the colonial Hand You see, The Doctrine of discovery Destroyed my  core identity For I despised the reflection in the mirror  reminding me I was the uncivilized  The messages The words The whispers  The lies all left this young mind traumatized And So I made myself small Buried my heart  and gave away it all   When I was 11 years old…   I( didn’t know the rules of this game  I didn’t know the how to shift the blame   I didn’t know how to manueuver so I felt safe   I didn’t know the system  A system that would bring me on my hands and knees And it was On my hands and knees  I begged creator  Change me Assimilate me. I was right where they wanted me to be.   Oh but the winds of change came And Creator called me my name The call was always there  but this time my spirit could hear   I rose with fire-i rose a blazing furious fire And I burned down the walls that conspire Against my Indigneous fire   I dug my hands into motherearth I let a new song be birthed. The matriarchs sang me back to life “Welcome home” -my child you have always been the light   And so I say my 11 year old self Take your dark hair  and dark skin And give the world your sacred medicine

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